Majestic / ALPS TAB 178 3G tablet (MT8382), infested with malware by design?

I have obtained a Majestic tablet called 178 3G, which is probably a rebrand of a chinese tablet called ALPS 178 3G. This thing is so infested with malware at the system level I could not make it usable even after rooting it and removing all the apps that even looked remotely like malware. Even after uninstalling like 20 apps it kept showing porn popups and more crap, so I decided to brick it to put it out of its misery. I didn't pay for it and I still feel ripped of by how ungodly this device is.

Now I have two possible courses of action.
1. Try to get a clean rom installed on it. This disgusting device has a MT8382 chipset. Is there any custom rom that I can get runnin on it to make it usable? Any website where you can get generic roms for generic, awful, disgusting MediaTek devices from China?
2. What would be the funniest way to dispose of it? I'm undecided if I should drop it from the 20th floor of the building where I work, prop it up between two slats of wood and then crush it with my car.